At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
