so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
