i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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