she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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