You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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