Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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