if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
