she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
