it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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