The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
