I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
