I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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