marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
