Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
