Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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