Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
