Just fell off a train. Bad.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
