The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
