I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
