the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize