It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
