I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
