we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
