i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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