We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize