I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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