you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
