i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize