i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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