sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
