so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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