It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I stole a fireplace last night.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
