I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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