You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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