After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
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