i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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