I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
