drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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