hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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