I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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