I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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