new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
