am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
