Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
