I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
