I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
