Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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