yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
