Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize