tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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