why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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