i was rollin on her like bob the builder
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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