I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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