What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
