god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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