so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
