i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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